A Guide To Cuckolding, The Incredibly Common Male Fetish No One Talks About
Cuckolding is one of those things that, for many of us, may only seem to exist in porn. But while some people might wonder why on earth our buddy would be into his girlfriend picking up a buff dude from the bar down the street for some Friday night fun, there’s plenty of people who desperately wish their partner was down for a little cuck-play. This erotic scenario doesn’t need to remain a fantasy. If you’re curious, here’s everything you need to know about cuckolding and how to try it with your partner.
What is cuckolding?
A cuckold is someone who takes pleasure in watching their partner have sex with someone else. Traditionally, it’s a man whose wife or girlfriend is having sex with other people, and there’s an element of the man being mocked for his wife’s lack of sexual interest in him. But of course, cuckolding can be enjoyed by couples of any sexual orientation, genders, and roles, and there’s a wide spectrum of ways that the couple views the affairs with the third party. In some instances, it’s more like an open relationship where only one partner has other lovers.
“For most couples who incorporate elements of cuckolding, it looks a bit more like swinging or polyamory, where the primary focus is all on the wife’s sexual engagements, “While many cuckolding fantasies involve fairly extreme elements of infidelity, sexual behaviors, humiliation, and submission, these appear to mostly be fantasy in most couples.”
In many cuckolding cases, the cuck desires to actually watch the sex take place between their partner and the outsider (often referred to as the “bull”), but sometimes the cuck may just want to hear the details afterward—or even help their partner pick out their outfit beforehand.
Where the word cuckold comes from.
Believe it or not, the word cuckold is actually derived from the cuckoo bird. Female cuckoo birds are known for sneaking into other birds’ nests to lay their eggs, therefore leaving another bird to take care of their eggs and ensure they hatch safely. Here’s where it gets kind of bleak (but it’s the animal kingdom, so stick with me): The cuckoo hatchling grows faster than the other, non-cuckoo eggs. The unsuspecting, adoptive parents will be confused but will constantly feed it and eventually toss its smaller nest-mates to their death to make room for the largest egg.
Why do people like it?
Like many kinks and fetishes, often people find it bizarre that someone can be turned on by their partner sleeping with someone else, especially because we live in a mostly monogamous society. But there are tons of reasons people (generally men) are into cuckolding:
1. Compersion
Compersion is a word that means “to take joy from another person’s joy.” It’s often used among consensually non monogamous people as a reason some folks enjoy “sharing” their partner, or something they learn to appreciate along the way to help them battle potential jealousy. To put it simply, some people enjoy cuckolding because they take pleasure in their partner being pleasured.
2. The taboo element
One reason people are confused by this fetish is the same reason people are into it (and this goes for many fetishes and kinks). In our culture, you aren’t “supposed to” want your partner sleeping with someone else and certainly not under your own roof or in front of your own eyes—which is what can make cuckolding even more arousing to some.